I'm going to begin this blog by telling you how much I dislike St. Patricks Day. Green doesn't go well with my "awkward". I'm all for a holiday that encourages copious alcohol intake and ludicrous behaviour amongst the masses. However, a holiday that has turned my least favourite colour into a trend? Ew. Also, I dont' get a day off of work for this "holiday" so I kind of feel that it's a sham (rock). Get it? ha ha ha. I think the biggest reason for my tasteful disregard of St. Patricks day would be the leprechauns. Creepy little friggers. I have always had a deep seeded fear of their tiny hands, squishy faces and sneaky desire for pilfering. You can try to dress them up in adorable tiny taylor made green suits and have them prancing about on rainbows doing jigs, but I'm not fooled. All in all they are still stalking children trying to steal their "lucky charms". Nothing creepy about that at all. (Insert wildly sarcastic face) Saturday night while the rest of the planet is at an Irish bar, wearing their tacky variations of "Kiss me I'm Irish" apparel, I'll be under my covers with a large glass of wine (and lets face it, probably a large bowl of Lucky Charms because they are frigging magically delicious). I'll probably have my "Celtic Lullabye" cd on full swing and I will be wating for the night to end. Please tell me I'm not the only person with a) a heavy diversion to the colour green and b) a paralyzing phobia of leprechauns.
As with Valentines Day I have put together a few easily avoided awkward moments stemming from my experiences with this "marvellous" holiday.
That awkward moment when....
-You accidentally yell "LEPRECHAUN!!!" at a "little person" and poke them in the belly while demading they give you their pot of gold. Also it's 10am and you're at work.
-You head to the bar with your colourblind friend. She's wearing red.
-You reach into your (giant green) purse to haul out a pen to give the hot Irishman at the bar your number...but instead haul out a tampon. Which causes you to have a mini freak out and you fling it into the air. It lands in his lap.
-You spew...green...all over your date.
-You show up to work in head to toe green (including the "mossy stone" nail polish, neon hair clip-on and shamrock belt). It's only March 16th.
-You finally confide in your friends about your phobia of leprechauns. Instead of being understanding (like you were when "Sally" told you about her "thing with feet") they use the opportunity to make fun of you at every social event. You turn into the "crazy friend" with the "thing with leprechauns".
Although I dislike the holiday, I love the drinks!!! Especially this fabulous one I found at "Dine and Dish" for St. Patricks Day Grasshoppers! It's super simple and filled with alcohol! A recipe after my own heart. I do love it when people mix ice cream with liquier!!! This should take a bit of the edge off on Saturday before the Leprechauns arrive!
St. Patrick's Day Grasshopper Ice Cream Cocktail
- 5 Quart Plastic Bucket of Vanilla Ice Cream
- 3 shots of Creme de Menthe liquor
- 1 shot of Creme de Cacao liquor
- 1 shot of Irish Whiskey
|Photo from "Dine and Dish"|
Use your creative awkwardness to garnish these puppies! Candied shamrocks, green sprinkles...the dollarstore is filled with tacky glasses, straws and serving platters! What is YOUR favorite St. Patricks day drink??? Also, what are your plans for Saturday? I need to live vicariously through my readers as I'll be under my covers!
Quote of the day from How I Met Your Mother:
Barney Stinson: Let's drink green beer! Let's do green Jell-o shots! Where's your St. Patrick's Day spirit?