Ahhh...sweet VD...No I don't mean that unfortunate STD you picked up in Vegas on your 25th Birthday...(Damn you Elton John impersonator...)Valentines Day...Nothing entertains me more than reading the bitter ramblings of single/ broken hearted ladies on Facebook...Yes I admit that I'm one of those creeps who gets a secret perverse joy out of the misery of others, while sitting in front of the computer drinking mimosas and gorging on box upon box of fancy heart shaped chocolates. It's all I've got as the the other 21 hours of my day are spent in extreme awkwardness. Speaking of which, nothing will bring out the strangeness quite like Valentines. Whether it's the pressure for romantic perfection or the quest for a decent pair of control top panty hose so you can look sexy while stuffing your face. I've made up a small "To DON'T list" for Valentines Day. It's a lovely montage of awkward mistakes I've made in the past...and this morning.
-DO NOT unintentionally treat your neighbours to your morning dance performance AKA "The Whitney Houston Tribute" As proud as you are of your sweet sparkly pants, gyrating hips and rendition of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody"...nobody needs to see that...put that away. Or close the blinds.
-When sending yourself roses, assume that your coworkers WILL steal the little card away and read it. So please dont' sign it "Can't wait for our steamy ice cream date tonight sexy...xoxo Awkward Baker." The world isn't ready for you to be dating yourself.
-Please try to avoid that awkward moment when you check yourself out in the mirror at work and discover (to your horror) that you should have worn a cuchini (CLICK HERE for more details on the cuchini...lol)
-Do not assume that because it was comfortable and easy to get INTO the beanbag chair at the V-Day party, that it will be at all flattering to get out of. Just trust me on this.
-Happy VD isn't actually an appropriate way to greet people today...Let's stop with the abbreviations already!!!
-When Facebook stalking, take extra caution not to "like" the depressing statuses of the love scorned. Yes, it's funny when people air their nasty laundry to the public and immensely entertaining to us stable folk, however, there is always that awkward moment when you see them face to face after you "liked" their "Valentines Day makes me want to jump off a cliff" status.
-Now that your grandfather has a cell phone, make sure that when you are sending your loved one a "naughty text" that you actually send it to your loved one. Gramps can't handle your whipped cream bikini photo. (Nor do you want him to).
Feel free to leave your own awkward, embarrassing Valentine tales in the comment section!!!!
In celebration of VD (either the love day or your unfortunate STD) we are making HOMEMADE BAILEYS!!! You read that right. Baileys. From. Scratch. It's simple, delicious and an amazing little treat to whip up for your Valentine!! Note to readers: This is NOT your Grandmas Moonshine....everyone loves homemade Baileys. (Especially Old Gregg) I found my recipe on the The Cupcake Project website (love love love this site!!!)
What you will need
- 1 Cup of heavy whipping cream
- 14oz sweetened condensed milk
- 1 2/3 Irish Whiskey
- 1 teaspoon of instant coffee
- 2 Tablespoons of Hershey's chocolate syrup
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla (Yay!! Time to bring our your homemade vanilla from my first post!)
Combine all of the ingredients in a blender on high speed for 30 seconds. Put in a tightly sealed contained and refrigerate. Always shake before serving. This will keep for up to 2 months! (Ha ha, it'll never last that long, but good to know)
Make it Pretty
You can get super creative and decorate bottles or mason jars and give this out as adorable presents.
|Photo from : The Cupcake Project|
Have fun with the Homemade Baileys and have a wonderful magnificent Awkward Valentines Day!!!
Quote of the Day From "The New Girl"
Cece: There’s nothing less sexy than a dude asking if he can kiss you.
Schmidt: Nothing? I mean, what if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig? What if I called my mom after sex and described it to her? What if I had a croissant blog?